Paranoid Doll

捕われた行き場のない心動けなくなる
自分の感情(キモチ)さえ見えない目を背けてる
手のひらに包まれている蝶のように
飛びたくても飛べない翅が

「都合のいいように生きればいいよ」
「苦しいなんて言わせないから」

耳元で聞こえる誘惑

自由を求めては辿り着けず
居場所のない現実に
思い通りにならない地図を眺めている
身体が切り裂かれ痛みに消えていく
記憶も願いも
切なく色づき左手に忘れられぬ傷
ボクハパラノイア

繋がれた手足隠された瞳の中に
思い出すあの面影は幻なのか

「全部捨ててしまえば楽になれるよ」
「痛みが快感に変わっていくよ」

手渡される禁断の赤い実

自分らしさなんてわからなくて
過去に縛られ繰り返す
時の過ちに気付かずに "あの実をください"
手に入れたいものを掴めなくて
消えない傷を増やすだけ
気付いてしまった見知らぬ世界に残された
ボクハパラノイア

うなだれる首
聞こえない耳
叫べない喉
動けない足
これが現実か夢かわからない
でも君は確かに僕を見ていた

暗い闇の中でもがきながら
何度も自分を見つけてる
右手に残る赤い色バラバラの蝶々
このまま眠らずに歩き続ければ
いつかは辿り着ける？
行く手に君の足跡が見えるもう戻れない
ボクハパラノイア

torawareta ikiba no nai kokoro ugokenaku naru
jibun no kimochi(kanjou) sae mienai me wo somuketeru
te no hira ni tsutsumarete iru chou no you ni
tobitakute mo tobenai hane ga

"tsugou no ii you ni ikireba ii yo"
"kurushii nante iwasenai kara"

mimimoto de kikoeru yuuwaku

jiyuu wo motomete wa tadoritsukezu
ibasho no nai genjitsu ni
omoidoori ni naranai chizu wo nagamete iru
karada ga kirisakare itami ni kiete iku
kioku mo negai mo
setsunaku irozuki hidari te ni wasurarenu kizu
BOKU WA PARANOIA

tsunagareta teashi kakusareta hitomi no naka ni
omoidasu ano omokage wa maboroshi na no ka

"zenbu wo sutete shimaeba raku ni nareru yo"
"itami ga kaikan ni kawatte iku yo"

tewatasareru kindan no akai mi

jibunrashisa nante wakaranakute
kako ni shibarare kurikaesu
toki no ayamachi ni kizukazu ni "ano mi wo kudasai"
te ni iretai mono wo tsukamenakute
kienai kizu wo fuyasu dake
kizuite shimatta mishiranu sekai ni nokosareta
BOKU WA PARANOIA

unadareru kubi
kikoenai mimi
sakebenai nodo
ugokenai ashi
kore wa genjitsu ka yume ka wakaranai
demo kimi wa tashika ni boku wo mite ita

kurai yami no naka de mogaki nagara
nando mo jibun wo mitsuketeru
migi te ni nokoru akai iro barabara no chouchou
kono mama nemurazu ni aruki tsuzukereba
itsuka wa tadoritsukeru?
yukute ni kimi no ashiato ga mieru mou modorenai
BOKU WA PARANOIA

Captured, my heart has nowhere to go, I can't move anymore
I can't even see my own feelings, I'm averting my eyes
Like the butterfly enclosed in the palm of my hand
Even if I want to fly, I can't, my wings are-

"You should just live conveniently"
"Because I won't let you say you're suffering"

I hear temptation whispering in my ear

I search for freedom but can't reach it
in a reality with no place for me
I'm staring at a map that won't go the way I want
My body is torn to pieces and vanishes in pain
along with my memories and hopes
It reddens with pain, the wound on my left hand I can't forget
I AM PARANOIA

My hands and feet are bound, inside of hidden eyes
I remember, is that visage an illusion?

"If you throw it all away, you can be at ease"
"The pain will become a pleasant feeling"

The forbidden red fruit is handed to me

I don't know what it's like to be myself
I'm bound up in the past repeating it
Without realizing the mistake of that time- "Give me the fruit of knowledge"¹
I can't seize hold of what I want
only multiply my un-healing wounds
I've woken up to it, I've been left behind in an unfamiliar world
I AM PARANOIA

My head is hung
My ears cannot hear
My throat cannot scream
My feet cannot move
I don't know if this is real or a dream
But I am certain- you were looking at me

As I struggle in the pitch darkness
I'm finding myself over and over again
Remaining red in my right hand- a crushed butterfly
If I can keep on walking like this, never sleeping
will I finally get there someday?
I can see your footprints in the path ahead, I can't go back now
I AM PARANOIA

1. "Give me that fruit"
Rather than the usual word for "fruit" is a kanji that can mean either "fruit" or "truth". Since the other line mentioning fruit said it was "forbidden red fruit", I decided what the lyricist was going for was an allusion to the Biblical "Fruit of Knowledge" that Adam and Eve disobediently ate.